“A Poem” A Poem

I remember when I used to be
so much more… Deliberate.
I started a project. I finished it.
I built it a pedestal. I shared it.

Plans– I made them.
I broke them down into little steps.
And then, I kept pace.
And then, Life said:
“You’re Ready.”

And it threw me into a celestial
blender of sorts.
It stretched my already pulled mind.
It was drawn & quartered,
And reconfigured until the shape
I once called myself, was formless.

The fortress I had so carefully
erected around my heart, tumbled.
As if a trebuchet built by God’s own
army came in, to liberate me,
From myself.

My desires, My dreams–
The plan I had for “Me,”
Unraveled like a cheap shirt.

In the beginning, I kept pulling,
And pulling and trying to snap the
line; to keep up a neat appearance.
Until I found it within me to surrender
to the complexity of the weave in
The Fabric, I, and Everything
Is made of.

Now, I am no longer quite sure
of who “I” am.
I’m sure I still have desires but,
they seem so much more separate
from me.

We used to drive this vehicle together,
But now, They take a place in the
back seat.

And the plans that I had made
turned back into wishes on stars,
And I gained a trust that if they
were “meant” to “be,”
They would be.

Today, I still find time to say
“Hello” to the flowers and to
smear around pigment but,
there is no longer a fixed plan;
An expected outcome has
gone out the window.

I’ve given myself over to the
Whatever-it-is the moment
silently asks for.

Now, let’s work on that painting.
Now, let’s chop some produce.
Now, let’s build our muscles.
Now, let’s laugh with friends.
Now, let’s share with family.
Now, let’s make our money.
Now, let’s save or spend it wisely.
Now, let’s rest and recover.
Now, let’s return to our life’s work.
Now, let’s write the contents of
Our soul, mind, and heart,
And call it: “A Poem.”